The mama across the street sits on the steps with her little girl… practicing flash cards …and me? I can barely keep my eyes open. A smidgen feeling of guilt comes over me just for a minute as I pass by the mirror and catch the vision of myself…still in my nighties. It’s Sunday…and usually by now…I would’ve already taken the puppy out, spent time with God, posted an inspiring post on facebook, made breakfast, showered, dressed the kiddies and myself & be putting lunch together after Church. But…not today. Today…I need time to stand still. I need rest. I need I need I need I need I NEED! It’s just one of those days…when the whirlwind of busyness and overload has to be shut out and if I could…I’d spin myself into a cocoon…and not break through the web until I was ready for everyone who depends on me… ’til I was ready to give them the proper energy they need from me.
With a full email inbox, orders, deliveries, events and my creativity all mixed in with my kids being out of school for the summer…with no real schedule… I’m realizing that there really is no allotted time for rest. Relaxing just doesn’t get penciled in on the calendar…and so I’ll just have to fit it in when I can. So…my husband sped out to find some crickets, loaded up the kiddies and our new puppy, and headed out fishing. And…for a second…I wished I was going too. But now…with the house quiet and the sun shining in through my cobweb covered windows…I’m already feeling a little rejuvenated. Maybe it’s because there’s noone here to see me doing nothing. …and maybe I need to give myself permission to just do nothing more often…even smack dab right in front of them. <;-That would feel so weird to me though! 😉
Ha! Just look at my littlest in the above picture. She can conk out anywhere…even under a table on the asphalt at a festival. I think we all should try and be like kids more. Everyday my kids awaken is another day of endless possibilities and even in the midst of all the fun …they can still manage to just zone out and recoup.
Time alone is crucial for being able to spend enough time with yourself to face yourself. …to see yourself and all the components of your life spinning around you…permeating you. I’m thinking today about things that’ve happened to me and how I’ve reacted to those things. In every event… the times I’ve looked inward and given God room to work instead of reacting to people who’ve hurt me… those times have worked out for my good. And vice versa…when I haven’t given room for God to work…things often work out not the best for me. We all have a soul. It is who we are. It gives power to our personalities. I believe we are all perfect…if we’d just reach inside our hearts, grab the love, and throw it out to everyone in every circumstance. Of course…that’s a difficult thing to do…especially when someone does something …be in words or actions…that hurts us. I try to be better all the time…and remember that to God…we are ALL the apple of His eye. And so…I have to be careful with how I react to others…no matter what…for even if they’ve hurt me…they are still just a soul like I am… and that karma thing that I call God will take care of everything. ….if I could just learn to REST in Him and give Him room to work.
With an over-analyzing mind like I have… I have to constantly re-focus and remember the good things. As I uncluttered my ottoman to put my feet up….my Athens Magazine fell to the floor and reminded me that while I’m feeling less than good enough today…there is at least one person who thought enough of me to include me in the cover story featuring… ‘Athens Rising Stars.’ While it seems a bit not-true to me…that I’d be thought of this way…especially that I’d be grouped with the others like Hugh Acheson and Rebecca Lang… it does perk me up a bit. I have to admit…it’s also a little embarrassing! I mean…really? a star?? Well…today, I need this little perk me up and I’ll take it! So….for this I am thankful and I am feeling better now…about doing nothing for at least a little while. Although…the sun is terribly alluring…and I might just have to take the bait and move my lazy self outside to the porch!
So…if you too are having one of those Not-Enough-Time kinda days… re-focus and think back to all the TIME you have spent already…and give yourself a little break. …even if it’s just a few minutes. Pick up a book, your ipod, a photo album…and sit yourself down and look, listen, and reflect a bit. TIME is on your side…really. Trust me! If I could get through the last few months…and still be sorta sane…I know you can too! haha …and also, remember…we are all in this thing called life together. So…OPEN your eyes to the big picture …to the really important things. And…rest in God’s arms a bit. He loves giving hugs!